Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Proven Performance

“Alright Jenkins, we need to put out a new ad campaign for our line of batteries, so show me what you’ve got.”

“Of course, sir. We’ve designed the new battery just like you wanted us to. We’ve had a team of top-notch graphic designers work on the logo and colouring for months. It is very flashy and eye-catching.”


“Sorry, sir?”

“What about the tests? How did it perform?”

“It did.”

“Excuse me?”

“It did, sir.”

“I’m…I’m not sure what you mean by that, Jenkins.”

“Well, sir, you asked us to test the performance of the batteries. So we asked ourselves, what is the most common use for our product? The answer: a remote control. Our team of researchers then popped in two of our AA batteries and tested to see if the batteries worked. They did.”

“Um, ok, slightly unorthodox, I suppose, but does the trick. What about the competition?”

“They also worked, sir.”

“You’re losing me, Jenkins.”

“You also asked us to test our competitor’s batteries performance, right? Our researchers also put those batteries into the remote. The remote still worked with those batteries.”

“That’s it? That’s all you have for me??”

“I don’t understand, sir. We did everything you asked.”

“I wanted to know HOW the batteries performed, Jenkins! Do they last longer? Run faster? Be...better batteries? I don’t know! That’s your JOB! But you’re telling me, after months of funding and research, that you have discovered that the batteries WORK?!”


“Perfect. Just perfect! We have to release our add campaign TOMORROW! Our designers have everything ready to go, and we can’t even offer them a decent, research supported tag line to entice customers! I should have listened to my mother and become an encyclopedia salesman…”

“Don’t give up hope, sir. I think I have a slogan that will do the trick.”

“Well it will have to, Jenkins. It’s all we’ve got.” 

No comments:

Post a Comment