“Alright
Jenkins, we need to put out a new ad campaign for our line of batteries, so show me
what you’ve got.”
“Of course,
sir. We’ve designed the new battery just like you wanted us to. We’ve had a
team of top-notch graphic designers work on the logo and colouring for months.
It is very flashy and eye-catching.”
“..And?”
“Sorry,
sir?”
“What about
the tests? How did it perform?”
“It did.”
“Excuse me?”
“It did,
sir.”
“I’m…I’m
not sure what you mean by that, Jenkins.”
“Well, sir,
you asked us to test the performance of the batteries. So we asked ourselves,
what is the most common use for our product? The answer: a remote control. Our
team of researchers then popped in two of our AA batteries and tested to see if
the batteries worked. They did.”
“Um, ok,
slightly unorthodox, I suppose, but does the trick. What about the competition?”
“They also
worked, sir.”
“You’re
losing me, Jenkins.”
“You also
asked us to test our competitor’s batteries performance, right? Our researchers
also put those batteries into the remote. The remote still worked with those
batteries.”
“That’s it?
That’s all you have for me??”
“I don’t
understand, sir. We did everything you asked.”
“I wanted
to know HOW the batteries performed, Jenkins! Do they last longer? Run faster?
Be...better batteries? I don’t know! That’s your JOB! But you’re telling me,
after months of funding and research, that you have discovered that the
batteries WORK?!”
“Um…yes.”
“Perfect.
Just perfect! We have to release our add campaign TOMORROW! Our designers have
everything ready to go, and we can’t even offer them a decent, research
supported tag line to entice customers! I should have listened to my mother and
become an encyclopedia salesman…”
“Don’t give
up hope, sir. I think I have a slogan that will do the trick.”
“Well it
will have to, Jenkins. It’s all we’ve got.”
