Girls and Kittens

There is a phenomenon in our world that has had science stumped for years. It's not the theory of evolution. It's not the size of our universe. It's the mystery of girls and kittens.

You may have witnessed this in your own home and with your own family and friends. When a girl is handed a kitten, her mind seemingly becomes mush. Instead of a typical response to cuteness, such as, "Aw, its so cute", a girl will respond with "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ITS SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE! Aren't you! Yes you awer! Yes you AWER!" It can be very disturbing. Even with extremely smart girls, the response is the same. Though some seem to have gained a mild resistance to it, none seem to be safe. Doctors and scientists have spent years trying to find out what causes this and possibly a cure, but, so far, to no avail.

 Until now

Recent discoveries have unveiled that when kittens are born, they have a special gland located at the bottom of their brain. Though the use of this gland is unknown, it does send chemicals throughout the body and releases them through the pores of the kitten. When the kitten grows into an adult cat, the gland is dissolved by the body and the remaining matter is absorbed into the brain. There are no negative side effects, though traces of the chemicals can still be found in some adult cats, but with significantly less potency. The chemical is odorless, colourless and tasteless but when this chemical is combined with chemicals in female humans, it creates a volatile concoction that quickly flows through the blood to the brain. Once in the brain, it reacts with the brain cells and causes a temporary numbing of the brain. Regular cognitive thought becomes slow and only the simplest thoughts can pass through. This is observed in childlike speech, possessiveness, and unintelligible sounds. To put it simply, the thought process is reverted to a toddler. 

Like many other chemicals exposed to the human body, overexposure can cause immunity. Females who have lived around cats for many years generally are not as affected as those who only see kittens every once and a while. This rule, however, is not solid. During the teenage and young adult years, which are years of great change, chemicals in people are much more susceptible to these kitten chemicals. Also, personality, maturity, even hair colour, can all effect the potency of the reaction.

As for a cure, none currently exist. To remove the kittens gland is an extremely invasive surgery and only has a success rate of approximately 20% in lab tests. Kittens that do survive tend to be more susceptible to diseases and suffer a major drop in cuteness. The chemical in a females blood is bonded to the chemical make up of the blood and is impossible to extract, and the surgery to remove a girl's blood has a success rate of 0%. Until technology advances enough to remove this gland or let people survive without blood, we simply cannot do anything to prevent it. 

I hope that I was able to bring light to one of the many mysteries of our world. Now, instead of laughing quietly to yourself at the unexplained behavior, you can laugh quietly to yourself and know what's happening. 

The Power of the Book

Tonight, as I mulled over several thoughts and frustrations in my mind that only come to me after midnight, I came to an interesting thought. How do friendships relate to the internet, specifically facebook? Can you have a successful relationship over the internet? Instantly, thousands of ideas flood into your head. What about the successes of eHarmony and other such sites? Long distance friends? Keeping up with old high school friends? While there is proof that relationships can be created and sustained over the internet, they also can fall apart. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not condemning the use of facebook or other internet social sites. I am rather going to look at the proper way to have a internet friendship.

Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with friends across the world. Where as texting, phoning or mail costs money, facebook is basically free (if you don't count the cost of internet). You can find where old friends you've lost touch with over the years have ended up. Its quick and easy to stay updated with other people's lives. But how much of this represents friendship? Because of my age, I have seen people adopt different personalities on the internet. Heck, I'm one of those people. On facebook, I have less restraints that hold me back from saying funny quips or sharing emotions and such. This is because I have a strength in the written word. Spoken word, not so much. So on facebook, I can appear more outgoing and social than I would in person, especially with a person I know little about. I think that the internet, for a lot of people, takes away many inhibitions that people have in talking to someone face to face. Its like a separate person for them. So to view what you see on facebook as the real person can cause some major problems in dealing with that person. You may gain expectations that they can't fulfill.  You may see things that don't seem of character of that person and taint your view of them, with a "what else are they hiding?" approach.

So how is this conquered? Basing the bulk of a friendship on facebook can turn it in the wrong direction. There are 2 things that we can do. First, simply, is to remember that this may not be the whole person you know. Especially if you don't know that person outside of the internet. Ask questions of why they put certain things on their page in person. That way you can get a better and more accurate answer. It may be a misunderstanding or hidden aspects you never knew. This way, you can learn more about the person that you ever could by simply creeping their profile. I'd say thats a win for face to face talking.

The second is a bit more complicated. It involves watching what we put on facebook. Whether we like it or not, it will affect parts of relationships, for better or worse. There are people I see on facebook that put just random thoughts that they would never say in public as their statuses. Then people get offended that you looked at this private information. We must realize that what we put on the internet can be views by anyone. It becomes public information. The internet is not our own private world. If you would never say something to someone's face, then leave it off facebook. That causes people to get confused and cause misunderstandings. Whenever I write something like this, I am fully aware that someone will read it. I write it so that people will read it and take something from it, whether its a deep thought or funny one liner. (Now I realize that you would not see me spewing this in person, but that's because I organize my thoughts better when I'm alone and I can type them out). Even inside jokes can confuse people. It is so important to remember that facebook is a representation of you to those you know. So be who you were made to be.

Facebook has become a major force in our society, as well as other social networking sites. Electronic talking controls much of our socialization today. Am I against using the internet as a social tool? No, I am simply saying that because it is so powerful, we must be as careful on it as we are with people around us everyday. There is so much potential in these things to expand our social barriers, but there is also dangers. I need to remember this as much as anyone. People can be stupid on facebook. It can look really bad on their part to you. But I will continue to try and represent myself as accurately as I can to those I call facebook friends.