Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Talking to Myself

I like to think. A lot. So it's no wonder to me that my thoughts have split into almost separate personalities. Certain emotions and ideas will trigger a certain chain of thoughts, sometimes even multiple chains that conflict with each other. Then I become some sort of judge, choosing which to believe and such. So for my first blog entry, I will give you a bit of insight into a typical conversation with my mind. Kind of a POV thing. And for added fun, I've given each "personality" a name. Guess who's who.

Hmm, new place, new people, no ties to any of them. I guess I can meet some new people and have a fun time. No expectations, no pressures, just me, my thoughts, and
Hugh: Whoa.
Me: What?
Hugh: Thats a good looking girl.
Me: Oh my. Yes it is.
Hugh: Do it.
Me: Do what?
Hugh: Talk to her. You know you want to. And she is gorgeous.
Me: She is...but I dunno...
Hugh: Just think. What happens if she likes you? Then who KNOWS what will happen. And if nothing happens, you at least have a friend who happens to be hot.
Me: That sounds pretty good...
Tom: WAIT!
Tom: What if she has no interest whatsoever? What if you make a terrible first impression that affects how she sees you forever? You will lose a friend you never even had!
Hugh: Wow. You're a ray of sunshine.
Tom: I'm a ray of reality. These things happen. Watch more TV.
Hugh: Really? TV is reality?
Me: Guys. Come on. We're losing daylight.
Antonio: You must go over there and sweep her off her feet. Bring her a rose. It never fails for a good first impression.
Hugh: Thats so lame.
Tom: IT'LL NEVER WORK!! She'll get creeped out and avoid you along with all her friends for the entire weekend!
Matt: Duuuuuude, go chill with the dudes. Actually, just sit on the ground. Chillaaaaaax, man.
John: Just go and show her kindness. She will respect you for being so normal around her and it could develop into a perfect friendship.
Jack: Punch her in the knees.
Me: GUYS! STOP! Wait, what?
Jack: ...For science.
All: ...
Me: You all are making this far more complicated than it needs to be.
Matt: ExACTly, dude. Just take in the view. Don't do a thing, man. It'll work itself out. It always does...
Tom: NO! Nothing will happen if you don't do something! Then she'll never know that you exist.
Hugh: All you gotta do is make your move. Girls love guys like that. She'll be all over you.
John: Don't do that! Respect her! Show her love that you want to be shown. Treat her as you would like to be treated.
Hugh: Well if it isn't mister Bible boy...
Antonio: Just listen to your heart. Take her to the top of the hill under the full moon, with the wind blowing softly in her hair, wafting her beautiful perfume to you...
Matt: Dude, you can't control nature. It's like...natural.
Tom: Act like him and people will think you're on drugs. Then no one-
Hugh: Will ever talk to us again and we'll die alone with our cats. I get it. We get it. SHUT UP.
Jack: Aim for her forehead. I bet you could make an indent of your knuckles.
John: Just be yourself. You've done this a million times. It always works out if you just do what you know. God made you who you are for a reason...
Hugh: Can it, apostle. Don't be yourself. Be the man that all the girls fall for. That's not you. You're a quiet goody two shoes. Girls want a guy who is out there...and stuff.
Me: What kind of stuff? What do girls like in guys?
Hugh: Pfff, how would I know? I'm a part of your mind.
Me: Well crap.
Hugh: Tell me about it.
Jack: If you cut your tongue down the middle like a snake tongue, would it still work? Could you taste sweet and sour stuff at the same time? Oh man, you gotta do it.
Me: That doesn't even relate!
Matt: What are we talking about again? Dude, This is totally wiping me out, man. I gotta go sleep, like, now.
Antonio: You should serenade her with flamenco guitar. Write her a song. The guitar is up in your room, you could practice the whole weekend. You must make the first moment you meet her perfect.
Me: Thats it. You're all useless. I'm going over there.
Tom: But what are you gonna do? Without a plan, you're doomed to fail!
Me: I'll figure it out when I get there. Anything to get away from all of you.
Bill: Wait! Only listen to John! He will get you far in life! ...where'd he go? Did I miss him AGAIN?
Hugh: Yup. Your timing is consistently terrible.
Bill: Shoot! Oh, wait! I got some awesome one liners that would be perfect! I hope I don't miss him again!
Tom: You're going to. And he's going to hate you for it. FOREV-

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