There's Something in the Water, pt. 1

There’s got to be something in the water.

Specifically, in Edmonton, Alberta, and Newark, New Jersey.

More specifically, the drinking water in the NHL arenas at those locations.

Why would I say such a thing?

Let’s first take a look at the more well-known case of the Edmonton Oilers. Almost 10 years ago, the Edmonton Oilers surprised many by making it all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals against the Carolina Hurricanes. Though they ended up losing, it was a miraculous run from a team that entered the post-season in 8^th place in the Western Conference. It wasn’t that surprising that they made the playoffs; with some good young players who were developing perfectly, a very good captain in Ryan Smyth, a future Hall of Fame defenseman in Chris Pronger, as well as a rag tag group of slightly above average goalies, they were a decent team that could steal the odd game. It seemed as though they were taking over as the next great team from Canada, as the Calgary Flames had impressed in years before, but fallen significantly by 2006. The Oilers were ready to compete again after several years of mediocrity.

Except that was the last time the Oilers made the playoffs.

Everything started falling apart almost immediately after losing to the Hurricanes, starting with Hall of Fame defenseman Pronger demanding to be traded, saying that it was too much pressure to be in Edmonton. Next, Smyth was traded to the shock of many fans and seemingly for Smyth as well. The combined income of those trades were 2 first round picks, a second round pick, and 4 former first round picks. For being put in a difficult situation, it could have be argued that the Oilers came out alright. I definitely thought so back when it happened.

However, I now know how everything turned out.

After Pronger left, everyone seemed to want out. Gone were all the veterans that had been signed for their playoff run. Only one stayed, that being 40 year old goalie Dwayne Roloson. He was the playoff darling, turning the 8^th place Oilers into the beast they became. Even being close to death (by NHL standards), he was thought to be the next starter in Edmonton.

He wasn’t.

They ended up finishing in the lowest position in 10 years of team history, but landed them a high pick of their own to add to the two from the trades. Of those picks from the trades, not one player made any significant impact on the roster. That’s rough luck, but explainable, since the draft is often more luck than anything. It’s incredibly lucky, then, to have 3 first round picks in one year and all of them turn into busts.

Of the players acquired in the trades, only one stuck it out for any amount of time, and he wasn’t really that good. Two turned into good players…after they were traded again to other teams. The return for those players were more picks and players that turned into busts and good players elsewhere. So if you’re keeping score, that’s 8 high-end prospects that fizzled out while in Edmonton. Some went on to figure things out later, while others shriveled up and died.

That’s an incredibly unlucky year for the Oilers. And it seems as though they never fully recovered.

2008 – Oilers do slightly better than the year before, still miss the playoffs. They land a Western sniper and Canadian World Junior hero by the name of Jordan Eberle in the 21^st pick. So far, it seems to be working out. They also steal (almost literally) a young player from Anaheim, which gains their GM much criticism. It turns out, he wasn’t worth all the trouble.

2009 – Another bad finish, leaving them to pick 10^th overall. They pick Magnus Paarjarvi-Svensson, who couldn’t crack 20 points or 50 games. They also try to acquire budding star Dany Heatley from Ottawa, but he refuses to go to Edmonton, even though he grew up in Alberta. Ouch.

2010 – The Oilers finish with their worst record in their franchise history, giving them first overall. They pick Taylor Hall over Tyler Seguin, who some thought they might take instead. Both have turned into very talented players, though Seguin has put up more points and has a Stanley Cup ring. That may have to do with his teammates, however. The Oilers officially enter into their rebuild, sending away anyone who could get them anything, including buying out one of the contracts they originally acquired in the Smyth trade in 2007. And he was originally taken 15^th overall. More ouch.

2011 – Again, the Oilers finish dead last. They go for a skinny center from Red Deer named Ryan Nugent-Hopkins over Swede Gabriel Landeskog and future Calder (best rookie) winner Jonathan Huberdeau. Though he’s performed below expectations, he’s still the most second prolific scorer of that draft year (behind Landeskog), so I guess that’s ok. They also sign a bunch of gritty veterans, offensive defensemen and former 3^rd overall pick. One of those players work out, and only for one season. And it wasn’t the high pick. We are now adding insult to injury.

2012 – Surprise, the Oilers are still the worst. They take another center with Russian Nail Yakupov instead of American defenseman Ryan Murray. Many think this is a dumb move, because the Oilers need defense. Many would still agree, as Yakupov has performed well below expectations. They then signed another former first round pick, defenseman Justin Shultz, who initially showed incredible offensive skills. However, he had few (if any) defensive skills, and he has regressed. The open would is now festering. Does somebody have any salt?

2013 – Hey, the Oilers aren’t the worst anymore! They make a big jump up to 7^th worst and finally take a defenseman with Darnell Nurse. A labour lockout scrapped the first half of the season, but Taylor Hall looked like a legit star in the second. It’s been painful, but the salt is helping. The future seems…bright.

2014 – After 41 games, or half the season, the Oilers are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. They take German Leon Draisaitl at 3^rd overall in one of the few occasions the Oilers would not win the draft lottery. New coach Dallas Eakins (the 4^th new coach since 2009) is fired half way through the season. We told Edmonton not to pick at the scab, but did it listen? We’ve got a full-blown infection again. Hope is all but dead.

2015 – The Oilers once again win the lottery – their 4^th time in 6 years – and take prodigy Connor McDavid first overall. He’s spent 37 of the 53 games on the injured reserve so far this year. The Hockey News publishes an article that claims the Oilers could make the playoffs this year, but Oilers fan have cauterized their open sores and have forgotten what winning feels like. Even with McDavid, they are afraid to feel, for fear of breaking their sores open again.

It’s like watching Will Smith in the Pursuit of Happiness. You want to hope for the guy, you really do, but you know that no matter what, he’s not going to be happy. Pity turns to annoyance as he continually is kicked while he’s down.

“Ugh, another high pick is a bust? Didn’t see that coming.”

(I think. I’ve never seen the movie. I have the Oilers to watch, and that’s enough pain for me)

To compare to other teams who have been the worst before, it took 3 of 4 years for Chicago, Pittsburgh, Los Angeles and Tampa Bay to start becoming regular threats to take the Stanley Cup, and have all won it at least once, with Chicago winning it three times and Los Angeles winning it twice. Tampa is the exception, as they do have one cup, but it came just before they started their most recent bout of sucking, and they made it to the finals last year.

There’s got to be another reason other than the worst luck aside from the Maple Leafs.

Well, Edmonton is the farthest North of all NHL cities. With the air being much colder the further north you go, the drinking water would undoubtedly be affected. My best theory suggests that there are microscopic icicles suspended in the water. When drunk, they immediately go to the brain and restrict information channels, especially those that make good decisions possible. This explains poor play by players who then go on to play well other places, or the choices of management on draft day and through trades (if I got into all of that, this article would never end). When players leave for warmer climates, the ice melts, freeing up the decision making parts of the brain. However, if left too long, the brain will go into a perma-frozen state, unable to ever be revived.

The Oilers dynasty may have appeared to bypass these harmful effects, until you look at their post playing careers of many of them. Craig MacTavish, Keith Acton, Dave Semenko, Glen Sather, Kevin Lowe, Steve Tambellini and even Wayne Gretzky have had their management careers all but terminated because of terrible trades, bad or questionable picks, and continually icing a team that keeps losing. Only Gretzky didn’t work for the Oilers, though. He screwed up the Phoenix Coyotes for a few years, then they recovered. This year, for the first time since 1980, the Oilers have a GM who didn’t play for the Oilers. That should be a good sign for things to turn around.

I mean, on top of the 4 first overall picks they already have that have worked out so well so far. 

The Ballad of John Scott

Well isn’t this a pickle.

You may have heard, even if you’re not a big hockey fan, about the NHL All-Star Game. I mean, they have one every year. It’s a big event – or, at least, the NHL wants you to believe it’s a big event. It’s really a time for players to show off, have some fun and let lose while playing hockey, and we fans get to watch them do it.

And this year promised to be even more special, depending on your definition of the word. Well, maybe any definition would work. That’s because once again, the NHL had a fan vote to select the fan-favourite player to ensure he would be in the All-Star Game. It’s a chance, the NHL believes (there’s that word again), for fans to elect a hometown hero or a star who just might have missed the cut. Last year, the Latvians all got together and elected their only NHL star Zemgus Girgensons, which might be one of the greatest names in hockey. Though he was talented, he was young and playing on a dreadful Buffalo Sabres team. But he still got to play in the ASG.

Perfect, thought the NHL. This is exactly what we believe the fan-vote should be.

This year, however, fans wanted to outdo themselves. A few people from the popular social networking site Reddit decided that it would be hilarious to have 6’8” goon John Scott play in the ASG. Including this year, he has 11 points in 285 games, averaging about 6 minutes a game on the ice. Definitely not an all-star. In fact, Scott is barely considered good enough to be in the NHL. But when the time came for the fan vote, thousands poured in for poor John of the Arizona Coyotes. At first, we took it for what it was – a huge joke. Even Scott urged voters to pick players more deserving on his team, but his pleas were ignored. Even more votes came in for Scott, and soon, it was over, and John Scott was slated to be the captain of the Pacific Division at the ASG.

So now there was a goon attending the ASG. And, with the people speaking very loudly, Scott decided, “Why not?” and confirmed that he would participate in the game. There was even a cash reward for the winning team this year, making it a bigger draw to go. However, the NHL was freaking out. See, they still believed that the ASG was a competitive game to showcase their biggest stars and that this player would make a mockery of the game.

Wait, what?

Didn’t the NHL put in the fan vote in the first place?

It appears that they forgot to take into account the power of stupidity.

The vote allowed anyone to nominate any player to play in the game. Any player. With enough support, anyone could get in, which is exactly what happened. Most fans had stopped paying attention to the game and watched it not for the antics that their favourite stars would perform. Ovechkin wearing a costume, Malkin dressing him up, Price facing shooters backwards. No one was taking these events seriously.

Well, no one except the NHL.

So now they had a dilemma. They asked Scott to decline the invitation, along with his current team, the Coyotes. But Scott had already decided that it would be fun to be on the ice with the best players in the league. He barely got to do that while playing the regular season. And, to top it all off, he would make $90 000 if his team won. For a player on a league minimum salary, that’s a good chunk of change.

But the NHL wasn’t done. The Coyotes took matters into their own hands by orchestrating a trade with Nashville and Montreal, where they ended up sending Scott to the Canadiens. Though a minor trade, it had huge ramifications, since Montreal is in the Metropolitan division in the Eastern Conference, while Arizona is in the Pacific in the West. Then, Montreal promptly sent Scott to the minors. If changing divisions wasn’t enough, the demotion surely was. Scott was no longer allowed to play in the ASG.

This happened all of one day ago. And, as expected, fans and correspondents are furious. Sure, Scott had no place being in a game where the NHL’s best and brightest compete against each other, and note every fan thought it was a good idea he was there, but the NHL’s fan vote allowed him to be there. It was their mistake, and rather than laugh it off and fix it next year, they decided to crush the hopes of a guy just trying to stick a roster spot in the most brutal fashion. Who knows, this might all but end his NHL career for something he had absolutely no control over. Scott never asked to be voted for. He asked people to vote for other players, because he knew his skill level. You know what’s the saddest part? He even made shirts to give his teammates, and they said, “Thanks for believing in me. Love always, The Captain.”

Talk about the nice guy getting screwed.

Now the shirts are being sold to the public and proceeds will go to some charity TBA, so all is not lost, but the NHL really made a bad situation a million times worse. Maybe it’s my fault for getting my hopes up. I was curious to see how he’d fare against the best players in the league. Are they afraid he’d injure someone? He is a specialist in hitting and punching, but why do that at the ASG? No one is going full steam, and the competition level is pretty low (for a professional sport). It’s like going to the rink with a bunch of guys you’ve known forever, along with some other friends of your friends, when a big guy, struggling to skate, comes up and asks to play with you guys. Sure, you’re hesitant at first. No one knows him, and he looks a bit rough (especially with a smile missing several teeth). But you relent when no one seems opposed, and he joins up, Turns out, he’s the nicest guy on the ice and is there just to have fun. He knows he’s no good, but if that was a deterring factor, he wouldn’t have put them on in the first place. You end up having a great time, and at the end you part ways and are left with a unique experience to remember.

I remember playing in the Briercrest rec league on a team that had this one American on it. Though he was from Minnesota (the American hockey capital), he had barely ever used skates. He still wanted to play, though, so he found a bunch of used equipment and suited up. Sure, we were trying to win games and make the playoffs, but no one had issue with him playing. In fact, we cheered him on. We helped him be a better player. And in his last game, he finally got a goal. He made us a better team, I think, because the focus wasn’t on us. It was on the team, and just going out there and doing our best while having fun. Because when it comes down to it, hockey is a game, and games are fun.

But I’m sure many of you can also remember the hyper-competitive guy on the team who ruins the fun for everyone by going way too hard. I played against a few, both on my team and against. They are all about winning, which makes everyone else more stressed and a loss seems that much worse. In Scott’s case, that guy in the NHL (or Gary Bettman, if you’d prefer a name). He wants everything to be taken super seriously to the point where no one has any fun.

But, alas, what’s done is done. I’ve lost a lot of interest in the ASG after this, and I think a lot of fans are likewise disappointed in how the NHL handled this. So shame on you for giving a poor guy hope them crushing it in his face. I hope you learn from this, and remember,

It’s just a game. 

Link to the shirt here: http://www.carrawayclothing.com/product/asg-captain-scott 

Dear Rachel

Dear Rachel Noltey,

You should know that I’m not mad.

First, let me clarify – we were never going to agree on a lot of things. I’m a fairly conservative minded individual. I like it when our natural resources are developed in order to boost our economy, as that means we can do more good as a province. I like it when the government has less influence in society, and serves as more of a moderator for the big issues. The NDP is pretty much on the other side of the spectrum. And that’s fine. We don’t have to agree.

When you were elected as the Alberta premier, I was a bit disappointed. Sure, you would not have been my first choice, or second or probably even third. But you won, and there’s not much I can do if I didn’t vote. I’ve been stuck in Saskatchewan for the last year-ish, so I’ve settled as an observer. And initially, I was somewhat optimistic about Alberta’s future. I expected the NDP to implement some more liberal policies while in power, but I also figured that an NDP government wouldn’t try to upset too much of what a long standing Conservative government had previously set up. Alberta had a conservative leader for over 40 years, and the people supporting them don’t just disappear. So, a smart government would work with the conservative-minded Albertans while trying to change some things they can. I can accept that.

But we immediately got off on the wrong foot when your new cabinet was announced. Of the new leaders listed, none of them were from Alberta or represented Alberta values. Some weren’t even Canadians. It was obvious from the get-go that the NDP’s had one agenda, and that was against the oil sands. That thing that has helped Alberta become one of the most prosperous provinces in Canada. Now, I don’t want to say that what they do is perfect; everyone can improve. But when you bring in outsiders who have no real experience with Alberta’s oil sands, then I know your province’s best interests are not central to your platform. Then you went ahead and said that Alberta was the embarrassing cousin that no one wants to talk about.

That pretty much sealed the deal for me.

You’re the leader of our province. Show some pride in the fact you grew up here. Sure, we may need to improve in some areas, especially if you are of a liberal mindset, but having so much extra money that the premier gives each citizen 400 bucks is a sign of prosperity. So someone was doing something right.

Anyways, you seemed to quiet down after that. Made some big statements, then cooled down. And again, I was cautiously optimistic. Being a future teacher, I see the benefits of having an NDP government in power, as more money will go to hiring new teachers. That sounds good for me. I would like a job eventually.

But now this happened.

This, being Bill 6 and the new Carbon Tax. From what I’ve read, these things are incredibly harmful to Albertans. First, the Carbon Tax is going to put a tax on everything. Not only oil and gas, but everything you buy. Alberta has long prided itself on not having a PST, and that helps boost our economy (I’d imagine) as during the holidays, some people from neighboring provinces come to us to buy things. But if it happens, that’s not the absolute worst thing. You kinda get used to it, like I have in Saskatoon.

Bill 6 makes me mad, though. Through the implementation of union laws, the family farm, where I and thousands of other Albertans grew up, is practically ruined. On paper, the bill looks fairly good. It wants to provide health and safety to farm workers, just like every other job. That sounds alright. But under the pretty surface, you find something a little darker and scarier. To make things safer, child labour laws are implemented, meaning kids can’t legally help out with the farm. They’d need to pass certain courses to be able to operate the machinery, rather than learn from parents and grandparents. They wouldn’t learn the value of hard work because it was their responsibility. Instead, with this bill, they’d be treated as employees.

Ok, so maybe having kids not work on a farm is a good thing, you might think. There’s lots of dangerous machinery and lots of kids have gotten injured or killed in accidents. But if they are treated as employees, then farms have to pay more money to unions and other organizations in order to get the manpower they require. Young workers would receive a salary, which would come from the farm, so they would need to have money for that. Then hours per day comes into effect. Breaks, holidays, etc. Do you know how many holidays wheat or cattle take? None. So guess who else doesn’t take holidays. That would be the farmers who care for them.

Sorry cows. No food today. It’s Christmas.

Farmers learn to be safe enough for the job they’re doing. They knew the risks. Sometimes, accidents happen. But you live and learn. That’s life. And that’s what living on a farm is like. It’s not a job. It’s life. You wake up on the farm, you eat the farm, you breathe the farm, and you sleep on the farm. It doesn’t stop when the work day does.

Now, I emailed the government expressing my opposition to this bill, and they actually sent me a response. I was impressed, to say the least. They said that some amendments were being put in place to clarify that only farms with paid employees would be affected. Family farms would stay just as they are. Farmers can opt in to WCB if they choose to, just like it is now, and nothing is stopping neighbors from helping out or teaching your kids about farming or doing 4H.

Oh, well, that sounds better.

Or does it?

The first thought that I came up with is what is classified as a family farm? A company that has no paid employees? That seems to be the case according to the NDP. So where does that leave my family’s ranch? For most of the year, we don’t have paid employees. But then at harvest, we hire some neighbors to help out, and during the summer, we kids have been paid to work odd jobs around the yard and pastures. Are they considered employees? Does that negate us from being a family farm? We are by no means a large operation compared with much of Alberta. These changes would hurt us if applied, as well as many other farms and ranches that live in our area and do much of the same thing.

The email also mentioned amending the work hours to take into account the seasonal aspect of the job. But that tells me that you just don’t get it. A farmer is ALWAYS a farmer. They get holidays when someone else looks after things for a while, or its winter and they don’t have cattle. And there was no mention regarding age limits on work. Just that they would still be allowed to “teach their children” about farming and ranching. Does that include the experience gained through helping out? Or is that considered child labour now?

So there’s still holes in your Bill, Ms. Notley. But instead of stepping back and re-evaluating the piece of legislation, you’ve decided to go right on ahead despite the numerous protests and public outcry this has caused. You’ve decided to make the changes on the fly, rather than take the time to talk with people who this will affect. Do you care at all for the southern part of your province? Because it sure seems like you don’t.

Of course farming and ranching practices can be improved. We can always be improving. But this isn’t improving. This is…well, I’m not sure what you’re doing, and a lot of other Albertans share my sentiments. And you know what takes the cake? You've been so preoccupied with this and all these other huge pieces of legislation that you haven't done the one thing I expected the NDP's to do: help out the teachers. 

So I’m not mad, Mrs. Notley. I’m disappointed.  

You should know better.

But apparently, you don’t.