Girls and Kittens

There is a phenomenon in our world that has had science stumped for years. It's not the theory of evolution. It's not the size of our universe. It's the mystery of girls and kittens.

You may have witnessed this in your own home and with your own family and friends. When a girl is handed a kitten, her mind seemingly becomes mush. Instead of a typical response to cuteness, such as, "Aw, its so cute", a girl will respond with "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ITS SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE! Aren't you! Yes you awer! Yes you AWER!" It can be very disturbing. Even with extremely smart girls, the response is the same. Though some seem to have gained a mild resistance to it, none seem to be safe. Doctors and scientists have spent years trying to find out what causes this and possibly a cure, but, so far, to no avail.

 Until now

Recent discoveries have unveiled that when kittens are born, they have a special gland located at the bottom of their brain. Though the use of this gland is unknown, it does send chemicals throughout the body and releases them through the pores of the kitten. When the kitten grows into an adult cat, the gland is dissolved by the body and the remaining matter is absorbed into the brain. There are no negative side effects, though traces of the chemicals can still be found in some adult cats, but with significantly less potency. The chemical is odorless, colourless and tasteless but when this chemical is combined with chemicals in female humans, it creates a volatile concoction that quickly flows through the blood to the brain. Once in the brain, it reacts with the brain cells and causes a temporary numbing of the brain. Regular cognitive thought becomes slow and only the simplest thoughts can pass through. This is observed in childlike speech, possessiveness, and unintelligible sounds. To put it simply, the thought process is reverted to a toddler. 

Like many other chemicals exposed to the human body, overexposure can cause immunity. Females who have lived around cats for many years generally are not as affected as those who only see kittens every once and a while. This rule, however, is not solid. During the teenage and young adult years, which are years of great change, chemicals in people are much more susceptible to these kitten chemicals. Also, personality, maturity, even hair colour, can all effect the potency of the reaction.

As for a cure, none currently exist. To remove the kittens gland is an extremely invasive surgery and only has a success rate of approximately 20% in lab tests. Kittens that do survive tend to be more susceptible to diseases and suffer a major drop in cuteness. The chemical in a females blood is bonded to the chemical make up of the blood and is impossible to extract, and the surgery to remove a girl's blood has a success rate of 0%. Until technology advances enough to remove this gland or let people survive without blood, we simply cannot do anything to prevent it. 

I hope that I was able to bring light to one of the many mysteries of our world. Now, instead of laughing quietly to yourself at the unexplained behavior, you can laugh quietly to yourself and know what's happening. 

The Power of the Book

Tonight, as I mulled over several thoughts and frustrations in my mind that only come to me after midnight, I came to an interesting thought. How do friendships relate to the internet, specifically facebook? Can you have a successful relationship over the internet? Instantly, thousands of ideas flood into your head. What about the successes of eHarmony and other such sites? Long distance friends? Keeping up with old high school friends? While there is proof that relationships can be created and sustained over the internet, they also can fall apart. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not condemning the use of facebook or other internet social sites. I am rather going to look at the proper way to have a internet friendship.

Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with friends across the world. Where as texting, phoning or mail costs money, facebook is basically free (if you don't count the cost of internet). You can find where old friends you've lost touch with over the years have ended up. Its quick and easy to stay updated with other people's lives. But how much of this represents friendship? Because of my age, I have seen people adopt different personalities on the internet. Heck, I'm one of those people. On facebook, I have less restraints that hold me back from saying funny quips or sharing emotions and such. This is because I have a strength in the written word. Spoken word, not so much. So on facebook, I can appear more outgoing and social than I would in person, especially with a person I know little about. I think that the internet, for a lot of people, takes away many inhibitions that people have in talking to someone face to face. Its like a separate person for them. So to view what you see on facebook as the real person can cause some major problems in dealing with that person. You may gain expectations that they can't fulfill.  You may see things that don't seem of character of that person and taint your view of them, with a "what else are they hiding?" approach.

So how is this conquered? Basing the bulk of a friendship on facebook can turn it in the wrong direction. There are 2 things that we can do. First, simply, is to remember that this may not be the whole person you know. Especially if you don't know that person outside of the internet. Ask questions of why they put certain things on their page in person. That way you can get a better and more accurate answer. It may be a misunderstanding or hidden aspects you never knew. This way, you can learn more about the person that you ever could by simply creeping their profile. I'd say thats a win for face to face talking.

The second is a bit more complicated. It involves watching what we put on facebook. Whether we like it or not, it will affect parts of relationships, for better or worse. There are people I see on facebook that put just random thoughts that they would never say in public as their statuses. Then people get offended that you looked at this private information. We must realize that what we put on the internet can be views by anyone. It becomes public information. The internet is not our own private world. If you would never say something to someone's face, then leave it off facebook. That causes people to get confused and cause misunderstandings. Whenever I write something like this, I am fully aware that someone will read it. I write it so that people will read it and take something from it, whether its a deep thought or funny one liner. (Now I realize that you would not see me spewing this in person, but that's because I organize my thoughts better when I'm alone and I can type them out). Even inside jokes can confuse people. It is so important to remember that facebook is a representation of you to those you know. So be who you were made to be.

Facebook has become a major force in our society, as well as other social networking sites. Electronic talking controls much of our socialization today. Am I against using the internet as a social tool? No, I am simply saying that because it is so powerful, we must be as careful on it as we are with people around us everyday. There is so much potential in these things to expand our social barriers, but there is also dangers. I need to remember this as much as anyone. People can be stupid on facebook. It can look really bad on their part to you. But I will continue to try and represent myself as accurately as I can to those I call facebook friends.

I Swear This is About Swearing

Swearing. You hear it everywhere. It seems more and more like people consider those words as normal as the ones I am writing now, but are they? As a Christian, I have always considered these words to be "bad" and never to be said, yet as a get older and more experienced, I see fellow Christians using the words that I have avoided all my life. Have I been right to do so, or have I adopted an unnecessary abstinence from them? There's only one way to find out.

Blog.

First, what is a swear? I know, sounds kinda stupid, but its good to start at the basics. As I understand it, a swear is an emotional word that some people consider to be offensive. They can show extreme pain, anger, or any other intense emotion. A lot of people, myself included, are drawn to these words in those situations because they fit so nicely to what we feel we must express. And they are highly effective. But there is more to them than saying what we feel should be said. They are offensive to some people. Many songs offer a censored or edited version to explicit songs, many higher rated movies have to be edited for TV showing, and it is considered bad taste to say them in public settings. 

I have talked to a fellow Christian about this, and he said that when used in the proper situations, swears can benefit what is trying to be conveyed. To discipline someone becomes much easier if the occasional swear is slipped in to show the dissatisfaction and anger felt by the discipliner. People remember when they have been cussed out for legitimate reasons. They appear to hurt and affect us more than many other words can. I have also talked to non-Christian friends who get tired and annoyed at people who are constantly inserting f-bombs in anything they say. You know them. The every-second-word-is-a-swear person. It gets tiring. Of course, almost anything used in excess gets tiring and bothersome, if not bad for you. 

So what is the answer? For that, I look to the Bible. Though it never specifically mentions "do not swear," some other passages stand out to me. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29). This passage especially sticks to me. How often is a swear used that it helps build others up? Like my Christian friend said, it can be powerful when used correctly, but I cannot recall any time where I benefitted from being swore at. I remember being hurt, shocked, and scarred from it. Those aren't beneficial. 

As for being unwholesome, how many people tell their kids not to swear? Everyone knows that it's not good for little kids to be saying those things. So why is it ok for adults? The only things I have found that are allowable to adults and not to kids end up causing more problems than good, such as alcohol, gambling and "adult" entertainment. Jesus said that we should come to the kingdom of God with the innocence and excitement children do. Even adults must edit them from certain situations. A politician would not say that his new bill is going to be "f-ing perfect for the city." It portrays what he thinks of the new bill, but it is not appropriate. The same for a teacher calling a student's work "s***y" or a TV host saying the performance was "the f-ing s***." In a world that is so lax already with restrictions, is it really the best to push this one, too? 

Other passages back up the one in Ephesians. Proverbs 10:31 says, "a perverse tongue will be silenced." 15:4 says, "a perverse tongue crushes the spirit." "I will keep my tongue from sin" (Ps 39:1), "You love every harmful word, you deceitful tongue!" (Ps 52:4), "no human can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison" (James 3:8), "The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body" (James 3:6). Many people would argue that the tongue talked about here refers to lying and deceit and gossip rather than cursing and there are tons of passages that fully support that directly, especially in Psalms and Proverbs. Those types of speech destroy people and the results of such words are explicitly started. Yet the ones here lead to me to a different concept. Harmful words, evil, perverse...these all appear to be a bit more than those mentioned before. Our words are not to offend or hurt people, but bring hope and joy from the Kingdom of God. Does a swear do that? 

Paul said that "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial"(1 Cor 10:23). If a swear can be used to build others up and aim them towards God, then by all means, use it. However, I have not encountered any that have done that for me. If I utter one under my breath by accident, I immediately repent. I get uncomfortable when others I see as good people use those words. I've never heard a person say they wished they swore more, but rather that they did it less. So should a Christian swear? I have provided as unbiased position as I could with the evidence given and covered as much as I could think of. I think it all boils down to is the question, "Is what's coming out of our mouths pointing people up...or down?"