There’s got to be something in the water.
Specifically, in Edmonton, Alberta, and
Newark, New Jersey.
More specifically, the drinking water in
the NHL arenas at those locations.
Why would I say such a thing?
Let’s first take a look at the more well-known
case of the Edmonton Oilers. Almost 10 years ago, the Edmonton Oilers surprised
many by making it all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals against the Carolina
Hurricanes. Though they ended up losing, it was a miraculous run from a team
that entered the post-season in 8th place in the Western Conference.
It wasn’t that surprising that they made the playoffs; with some good young
players who were developing perfectly, a very good captain in Ryan Smyth, a
future Hall of Fame defenseman in Chris Pronger, as well as a rag tag group of
slightly above average goalies, they were a decent team that could steal the
odd game. It seemed as though they were taking over as the next great team from
Canada, as the Calgary Flames had impressed in years before, but fallen significantly
by 2006. The Oilers were ready to compete again after several years of mediocrity.
Except that was the last time the Oilers
made the playoffs.
Everything started falling apart almost immediately
after losing to the Hurricanes, starting with Hall of Fame defenseman Pronger
demanding to be traded, saying that it was too much pressure to be in Edmonton.
Next, Smyth was traded to the shock of many fans and seemingly for Smyth as
well. The combined income of those trades were 2 first round picks, a second
round pick, and 4 former first round picks. For being put in a difficult
situation, it could have be argued that the Oilers came out alright. I
definitely thought so back when it happened.
However, I now know how everything turned
out.
After Pronger left, everyone seemed to want
out. Gone were all the veterans that had been signed for their playoff run.
Only one stayed, that being 40 year old goalie Dwayne Roloson. He was the
playoff darling, turning the 8th place Oilers into the beast they
became. Even being close to death (by NHL standards), he was thought to be the
next starter in Edmonton.
He wasn’t.
They ended up finishing in the lowest
position in 10 years of team history, but landed them a high pick of their own
to add to the two from the trades. Of those picks from the trades, not one
player made any significant impact on the roster. That’s rough luck, but
explainable, since the draft is often more luck than anything. It’s incredibly
lucky, then, to have 3 first round
picks in one year and all of them turn into busts.
Of the players acquired in the trades, only
one stuck it out for any amount of time, and he wasn’t really that good. Two
turned into good players…after they were traded again to other teams. The
return for those players were more
picks and players that turned into busts and good players elsewhere. So if you’re
keeping score, that’s 8 high-end
prospects that fizzled out while in Edmonton. Some went on to figure things out
later, while others shriveled up and died.
That’s an incredibly unlucky year for the
Oilers. And it seems as though they never fully recovered.
2008 – Oilers do slightly better than the
year before, still miss the playoffs. They land a Western sniper and Canadian
World Junior hero by the name of Jordan Eberle in the 21st pick. So
far, it seems to be working out. They also steal (almost literally) a young
player from Anaheim, which gains their GM much criticism. It turns out, he wasn’t
worth all the trouble.
2009 – Another bad finish, leaving them to
pick 10th overall. They pick Magnus Paarjarvi-Svensson, who couldn’t
crack 20 points or 50 games. They also try to acquire budding star Dany Heatley
from Ottawa, but he refuses to go to Edmonton, even though he grew up in
Alberta. Ouch.
2010 – The Oilers finish with their worst
record in their franchise history, giving them first overall. They pick Taylor
Hall over Tyler Seguin, who some thought they might take instead. Both have
turned into very talented players, though Seguin has put up more points and has
a Stanley Cup ring. That may have to do with his teammates, however. The Oilers
officially enter into their rebuild, sending away anyone who could get them
anything, including buying out one of the contracts they originally acquired in
the Smyth trade in 2007. And he was originally taken 15th overall.
More ouch.
2011 – Again, the Oilers finish dead last.
They go for a skinny center from Red Deer named Ryan Nugent-Hopkins over Swede
Gabriel Landeskog and future Calder (best rookie) winner Jonathan Huberdeau.
Though he’s performed below expectations, he’s still the most second prolific
scorer of that draft year (behind Landeskog), so I guess that’s ok. They also
sign a bunch of gritty veterans, offensive defensemen and former 3rd
overall pick. One of those players work out, and only for one season. And it
wasn’t the high pick. We are now adding insult to injury.
2012 – Surprise, the Oilers are still the
worst. They take another center with Russian Nail Yakupov instead of American
defenseman Ryan Murray. Many think this is a dumb move, because the Oilers need
defense. Many would still agree, as Yakupov has performed well below
expectations. They then signed another
former first round pick, defenseman Justin Shultz, who initially showed incredible
offensive skills. However, he had few (if any) defensive skills, and he has
regressed. The open would is now festering. Does somebody have any salt?
2013 – Hey, the Oilers aren’t the worst
anymore! They make a big jump up to 7th worst and finally take a defenseman
with Darnell Nurse. A labour lockout scrapped the first half of the season, but
Taylor Hall looked like a legit star in the second. It’s been painful, but the
salt is helping. The future seems…bright.
2014 – After 41 games, or half the season, the
Oilers are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. They take German Leon
Draisaitl at 3rd overall in one of the few occasions the Oilers
would not win the draft lottery. New coach Dallas Eakins (the 4th
new coach since 2009) is fired half way through the season. We told Edmonton
not to pick at the scab, but did it listen? We’ve got a full-blown infection
again. Hope is all but dead.
2015 – The Oilers once again win the
lottery – their 4th time in 6 years – and take prodigy Connor
McDavid first overall. He’s spent 37 of the 53 games on the injured reserve so
far this year. The Hockey News publishes an article that claims the Oilers could
make the playoffs this year, but Oilers fan have cauterized their open sores
and have forgotten what winning feels like. Even with McDavid, they are afraid
to feel, for fear of breaking their sores open again.
It’s like watching Will Smith in the
Pursuit of Happiness. You want to hope for the guy, you really do, but you know
that no matter what, he’s not going to be happy. Pity turns to annoyance as he
continually is kicked while he’s down.
“Ugh, another
high pick is a bust? Didn’t see that
coming.”
(I think. I’ve never seen the movie. I have
the Oilers to watch, and that’s enough pain for me)
To compare to other teams who have been the
worst before, it took 3 of 4 years for Chicago, Pittsburgh, Los Angeles and
Tampa Bay to start becoming regular threats to take the Stanley Cup, and have
all won it at least once, with Chicago winning it three times and Los Angeles
winning it twice. Tampa is the exception, as they do have one cup, but it came just
before they started their most recent bout of sucking, and they made it to the
finals last year.
There’s got to be another reason other than
the worst luck aside from the Maple Leafs.
Well, Edmonton is the farthest North of all
NHL cities. With the air being much colder the further north you go, the
drinking water would undoubtedly be affected. My best theory suggests that
there are microscopic icicles suspended in the water. When drunk, they
immediately go to the brain and restrict information channels, especially those
that make good decisions possible. This explains poor play by players who then
go on to play well other places, or the choices of management on draft day and
through trades (if I got into all of that, this article would never end). When
players leave for warmer climates, the ice melts, freeing up the decision
making parts of the brain. However, if left too long, the brain will go into a
perma-frozen state, unable to ever be revived.
The Oilers dynasty may have appeared to
bypass these harmful effects, until you look at their post playing careers of
many of them. Craig MacTavish, Keith Acton, Dave Semenko, Glen Sather, Kevin
Lowe, Steve Tambellini and even Wayne Gretzky have had their management careers
all but terminated because of terrible trades, bad or questionable picks, and
continually icing a team that keeps losing. Only Gretzky didn’t work for the
Oilers, though. He screwed up the Phoenix Coyotes for a few years, then they
recovered. This year, for the first time since 1980, the Oilers have a GM who
didn’t play for the Oilers. That should be a good sign for things to turn
around.
I mean, on top of the 4 first overall picks
they already have that have worked out so well so far.
